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The Lord contacted Noah & commmanded he build an Ark for in one year's time a flood would cover the earth. Specifations were sent & Noah accepted the task. Exactly one year later, the Lord returned to find a grey haired Noah but no Ark. "Where is my Ark?" he inquired. "I have tried Lord", Noah replied but there have been problems. Your plans did not meet the standards & I had to have them redrawn. The Dept. of Occupational Health & Safety wanted fire sprinklers added. My neighbour objected claiming I was violating zoning laws by constructing the ark in the backyard. I have lodged a rezoning application with the local council which has refered it to the Land & Environmental Court. I had a problem getting wood. as there is a ban on cutting wood to protect Kookaburra. I finally conviced the Dept of Conservation I Actually need the wood to save the Kookaburras, however the National Parks & Wildlife won't let me catch any Kookaburras, So no Kookaburras on the ark.
The Dept of Lands & Water Conservation want a detailed map of the proposed flood plan. I have sent them an atlas. The Equal Opportunity Commission claims I am discriminating if I don't take on board non-believers. The Taxation Department is claiming I will need to pay fringe benefits & State Rivers is claiming I need to register the Ark as a recreational watercraft & that I will need a Boat Driver's Licence. I have appointments to see Work Cover, & the Plumbing Industry Commission want to do an audit. Yarra Valley water is pushing for backflow protection. I think with luck I may finish construction in a year or two. The Lord replied "never mind", a flood is not needed to destroy the earth, bureaucracy wiil do it for me! As Shown in Plumbers Choice
Dan Holohan
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The Carpenters Union went on strike & I had to negotiate with the Dept of Industrial Relations, I now have 16 Carpenters but stiil no Kookaburras. I did start to collect other animals but i have been sued by the RSPCA & the EPA has notified me I am required to lodge an environmental impact statement re your proposed flood. They have some objections to your claims of absolute power.
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