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It sounded like someone was coming through the front door with a fire axe. We were sound asleep and then it arrived, as it did night after night, all winter long. BANG! I came rocketing up out of the covers and so did Marianne, and then she looked at me as if all of this was my fault, and that’s because I am a husband. Mechanical noises within a house are almost always the responsibility of the husband. “Do something about that,” she hissed.

So I looked into it.

I asked around and even paid a visit to the factory where they made these valves. Wonderful people. Very gracious hosts. We sat in a conference room and chatted about things hydronic. I told them about our sleepless nights and the wrath of The Lovely Marianne, and how they were fortunate that it was me and not she paying the visit. They listened attentively, and looked at each other, and they took notes. They nodded sympathetically. Then they told me that I was the first person to ever bring up this problem. They were mystified and quite concerned. They would look into it immediately and get back to me.

I waited a year.

I called one day, just out of curiosity. I had already solved the problem at home by having the valves replaced with circulators. I was just curious at that point as to why they had never gotten back to me. They had said that they would. When I called I learned that the folks I had met with on my visit weren’t there any more. They had moved on to other areas of this vast company. But there were new people who had taken their places and these new people were very interested in listening. So I explained what had happened. They told me that was the very first they were hearing of a banging problem with zone valves. They were going to look into it and get back to me immediately.

I wait.

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Dan Holohan - [Intro] | [Email] | [Website]

The views expressed in this article are those of the individual author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the management or staff of MasterPlumbers.com


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